So, I think no one really reads this, which is good. Because I wouldnt want many people to read it. Only.. fans, I guess?

Let's just say I've done a little research with songwriting instead of my usual, great ideas = awesome song, approach. I need some more practice, but since my computer has been dead for so long, I still managed to write a few. I had a few nights of constant writing. But anyways..

I have a new project at hand. A story of a thirty-three year old man, Alton Thomas, who becomes blindsided by his epiphany about his mundane, self-degenerating lifestyle. His past catches up with him and the idea is to relive the past in the story. Going from a modern day setting and his boring life to the time he was 17 and deeply in love with his next door neighbor, Ellie Perkins.  Here, in the story you will be brought to the mind of the characters and not just the dialogue that takes place.

I will not reveal the intent of the way I will be writing it, but I can say that I not only want to bring a good story about, but present it in a way that will give people a little more awareness to the way that their every single action can dictate the next. It's truly impossible to have conscious thought all by itself, therefore we're constantly trying to rebuild the ship.

Anyways, I hope I really dive into it once I get my computer back.

So far all I really have is a collection of ideas, and I will probably do some real brainstorming later. I have an outline of how I want it to go, conceivably, but it's probably going to change as I go along.

“What Love Is” This chorus is obviously bits of Corrinthians, but I tried to elaborate. It’s about an old man on his bed actually talking to his doctor who has a great family, but isn’t home very often. And of course when he is, he’s not really there. It’s a common situation I believe.  12-11-06

“The old man said, you go home early tonight

Tell your boss, you need to save your own life

Tuck your kids in bed at night

Take a look at your wife

And smile at her sight

Don’t turn the tv on

You don’t have the night off

You’ve got to find that love that you’ve been missing

With your kids and that wife you should be kissing

Then one day, you’ll be able to say

Love is patient

Love is kind

It will stand the test of time

It doesn’t cheat

It doesn’t lie

It’s turning that cheek

It’s in that first kiss

That someone you miss

Love is a blessings

It’s a curse

It’s in life’s lessons

It’s in some words

And it’s all I’ve ever known

Even when I was alone

The only thing I know

Is what love is”

“Turning Away” – This one will need a bit of work, writing is so spontaneous that it’s easy to make silly mistakes, which is why songwriting is often a 2 people task. Lots of times, it will be in the perspective of someone else, but I connect very well with them, of course. The words flow so easily when I can really relate. 12-11-06

“I know we never saw eye to eye

But I thought we saw heart to heart

When your lips met mine

And how it was so hard to part

We never got to stare up at the stars

You never saw that side of me

And now I’m glad we’re both free

But I wish you knew

I’m still turning away

To save you from the pain

I’ve got so many words to say

I’m sorry, I still love you

But the words won’t go through

You couldn’t stand it, when I walked away

And now every time I see you

The pain burns on through

‘Cause I’m still turning away”

My opinions of my songs are always changing, but the other day I re-realized the potential of some of them. it's hard to see them for what they are, when it's basically my heart on paper. bits and pieces of it, placed into a 3 1/2 min song. Anyways though, I had a little Rebirth of ambition towards them.

“How I Love You Still”  It’s really no surprise a song like this would come out, like the many that preceded them above, because that’s  what I hear for the most part while I’m listening and waiting for or getting inspiration. This one is really a cynical point of view, about life after a failed relationship and not being able to move on completely. He obviously regrets letting her go also.  12-10-06

“I’m sick of paying bills

I’m tired of having time to kill

Not having a thing to do

But think about you

I’m sick of fields to till

I’m tired of sleeping pills

Not having a thing to do

But dream about you

Yeah, I’m tired of these wires

I wish I could just set fire

To all that runs this radio

With the songs so sad and slow

Reminding me how I let you go

I don’t wanna see the power bill

From leaving all the lights on

Calling you to say that I was wrong

And how I love you still”

“Rockin’ That Chevy”  This is another one where I chose to let it get sexual. It’s that thrill of being 16 or 17 and just being able to drive, and falling in love for the first time. Very typical of a song, yes. I like the idea of the truck being a hunk of junk since my first few cars were. The second one was very laughable. It plays it out to be a very precious moment in two peoples lives that they share and in the end he thinks about it every now and then. But I just like the title, personally.  12-10-06

“I held your hand

Under the august sky

I told you of my scars

And you said I understand

Life can be so hard

We laid under the stars

I felt the beatin’ of your heart

Yeah, we were

Rockin’ that chevy

I kissed you ‘cause you let me

Soft and slow music on the radio

I came close and felt you let go

To all that you’ve held on to

There was no place we’d rather be

Than Rockin’ that chevy”

“Got To Keep Moving” It’s that mentality of moving on, and moving up, always moving forward. Moving towards bigger and better things, not letting the past or any worries keep you back from living your life for today, but also for tomorrow. Of course, I can relate, because I get thrown little hills in my trail all the time, but I just gotta keep moving. And hopefully one day I’ll find a little more stability inside the unknown. I’ve been doing a lot better though, trust me.  12-9-06

“Sitting here tonight

Looking back on my life

Mistakes I’ve made

The habits I need to break

Trying to find out why I shake

When I hear that song

That talks about moving on

Trying to forget that night we were up til dawn

Yeah, every word in the song sounds right

But I just can’t move on with my life

I’m gonna stand up

I don’t understand why I just can’t

Stand up and lose this discontent

I mess up and then I do it again

I’m tired of being stagnant

I’ve got to keep moving”

“That’s When I’ll Know, It’s Over”  It’s about that moment, in a failed relationship where there’s still a lot of attachment and probably regular meetings, where the guy just realizes, that she’s moved on. Because she let her down on the outside which sorta reflects on the inside. And you know it always drives the guy crazy to see that, while still crazy for her on the inside. She’s really teasing him too, by not really making any kind of decision, but he just realizes, yup, she’s moving on and sorry baby come back, won’t work.  12-10-06

“When you let your hair down

On your shoulders

That’s when I’ll know

It’s over

When you’ve got a smile on

When the weather’s colder

That’s when I’ll know

It’s over

Yeah, you can’t make up your mind

Say come back or goodbye

You’re leaving me out to dry

And I’m trying not to cry

Or go crazy tonight

But when you let your hair down

That’s when I’ll know

It’s over”

“Not Deserve Life” – Abortion is a touchy subject, and I’ve never had a strong opinion on any side. It’s not my favorite subject, but after seeing my little siblings, I just don’t see how anyone could not have children and support them. They are just amazing. But I even added a few lines that I’m pretty proud of and they hit close to home. Just appreciating family. Even when they’re not around, they’re your biggest support system and if there’s anyone you can’t live without, Of course it was them at the time of conception, but even if you’re adopted that family element is there.  12-9-06

“Heard on the news today

Another life’s been taken away

Though that baby was never born

Another child with so much in store

Could have had so much more

A sweet smile

That heart beating

A first kiss

Two lips meeting

A home’s never too broken

There’s so many couples hopin’

To make a family

There’s plenty of hearts open

To adopting a baby

Me and you got to live

And breathe our first precious breath

Without every knowing it

So how can a child not deserve a life”

“We’re All The Same” – It’s one with that valuable message that hopefully could break some barriers. People are always looking at others like they’re alien. When in reality, we’re all pretty similar, and could always find some common ground. This really came from me and my friends and how we all hang out, have very similar interests, but we also have our follies and weaknesses, and they’re usually very plain to see. 12-9-06

“A shy boy shaking on stage

On graduation day

He’s a typical know-it-all

But he feels small

When talking to girls

Or taking on the world

Yeah, it’s alright, it’s okay

Some are good at some things in life

But you can’t do everything right

We all have a weakness

We all have strengths

We’re all unique

In our own little way

We all can love

Someone under the sun

Don’t matter if you’re black or white

Believe in green and red or stars and stripes

We’re all different

But we’re all the same”

Andrea only wants me for my body, and she's the only one that reads this!